TOB Reflection - Sexual Attraction vs. Lust

We'll have some music to start with...

Now a brief intro to the Theology of the Body and Christopher West's mission. (From a short interview)

Now, let me share something from that I learnt from my experiences in the light of the Theology of the Body (TOB) taught by (soon to be declared Blessed) Pope John Paul II (JP2). This is about the way we clothe ourselves. I mean 'clothe' in its literal sense, and not spiritual, such as clothe in salvation, purity, poverty etc.

With a highly broken and abused sexuality, it was very difficult for me to confidently confront women. Having for so long considered the beauty of woman as something to be looked upon with lust, I faced difficulty in the initial days of my Christian walk. It was through the loving motherly & sisterly care and love of the prayer group members that God used to teach the value and strengths of a woman. Personalities with a healed sexuality or those growing towards it are among the things that charmed me when I read the biographies of saints, that gave me the confidence that it is possible.

These days it is very common to see girls wearing mini skirts and very less clothes; and guys wearing transparent clothes. It is not because they can't afford more clothes, because they appear to be as expensive as or even more expensive than normal clothes. In the last two years, we were finding it difficult to get a high waist or even medium waist jeans for my wife, since in most shops only low-waists are available. We are also often forced to dig up T-shirts and tops with a decent neck, finding only a small percentage satisfying even our moderate needs. This givens a clear indication of something:- our culture has easily accepted the fashions promoted by the media. Things that used to make us raise our eyebrows two years back are now well-accepted.

TOB is the first teaching that I have seen that narrated in detail about "nakedness without shame". The Pope points to our Guru Jesus who invites us to look at the situation "in the beginning". In the beginning, man and woman were naked, but they did not feel shame. Had they not sinned, we all would have today looked at each other with the same freedom that our first parents then had. So parents would have been comfortable before their adolescent kids appearing as they are; naked, so would be young men and women studying in the college. We would have seen the image and likeness of God imprinted in our souls that is made visible by our bodies. Without the corruption of sin, our bodies would have been even more beautiful, not requiring any make-up, hair dyes, deodorants, anti-ageing creams etc., for they would not have suffered any wrinkle or spot. That was the power of original innocence. Dress was not in God's original plan. Imagine how much expenditure would have been avoided!! Today itself I had to shell out around 5K during the tempting end of season sale.

And then the sin entered the human dimension. First consequence was that their eyes were opened; and they realized that they were naked. They covered they body members with fig leaves weaved together. Then they went hiding for the fear of facing God.

The simplicity of the Scriptures often 'deceives' the proud hearted. They think that they know these 'books' very well. That was why I always wondered why opening of eyes is such a bad thing. Afterall what was their fault? They were seeking the knowledge of good and evil. Was not Solomon blessed for asking this same favour from the same God? Why in the first place did God forbid the fruit? Was he afraid of man knowing right and wrong and thus become like Him?

With TOB as well as the traditional interpretation of the Church, one comes to the understanding that the forbidden fruit is the temptation to disobey God and in some sense to play God by deciding what is good (and right) and what is evil (and wrong). (You can see that this same problem is the heart of all the evils today prevalent in the world where Church faces the greatest challenge - Relativism, Atheism, Abortion, Contraception, Homosexuality, Radical Feminism, Liberation Theology, Marxism etc. Rather than discerning what is good and evil as Solomon prayed, we tend to decide what is evil and what is good.) It is a denial of the revealed truth or revelation from God. It is not only disobedience of God, but also a lack of faith and trust in God. It is a faith in the father of all lies that God is someone who wants to hold something for Himself, and if you get hold of that you can be like God and does not need to depend on Himself (need not submit to His authority). It has no comparison to Solomon's prayer. They didn't desire any good. They wanted "to be like God" apart from God. Little did they remember that God created them in His image and likeness, that they were the crown of creations. They didn't know that their foolishness to get hold of "something that God withheld from them" would one day be cancelled by sending His only begotten son for us to be the sacrificial victim. "He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him?" - Rom 8:32

TOB teaches that man and woman knew that their bodies revealed a nuptial meaning of their existence. ie. they were created to be a gift to each other. This was clear with Adam's first love song - "here is at last, the bone of my bone, and the flesh of my flesh". But with sin, their vision became corrupted by "lust". They "opened their eyes" to see each other as things to be [ab]used rather than as gifts to each other. They knew that a terrible corruption has occurred. "Ah... what have we done to ourselves??" To save each other from lustful vision, they decided to protect themselves by wearing their ameteaurly made clothes. God later on gave them a professionally made clothe (with animal skin). Pope JP2 says that though shame was not in the original scheme of things, it nevertheless gave the awareness to protect themselves from lust, and hence in the current scheme of things (after the original sin) shame helps.

Though TOB is a lot more than all this, this is the point which I wish to highlight in this reflection.

• The first point is that we all need to acknowledge the inclination all human beings have towards lust. We should not be shocked to find ourselves or our neighbors being troubled by lust. When we love ourselves and also our neighbors as ourselves, we should love as we/they are.
• When we present ourselves before others, we must be charitable to the fact that my appearance must not trouble our neighbors in the area of lust.
• Lust dominates when we look at a person as a thing, and not as a gift. If we look at a person as God's gift, we are filled with gratitude towards God and love towards the person. This way we can grow in dominion over lust.
• Lust should not be confused with sexual desire. The former is a capital sin, and the latter is a gift from God. Sexual desire is planted by God in man and woman as they are created to be a gift to one another.
• Our sexual desire needs to be liberated from lust, and to be directed towards the purpose that it is meant for. Lust leads to [ab]using oneself as well as the other[s].

We knowingly or unknowingly do our part to enhance our sexual attraction. There are a number of factors that contribute to this attraction. For example, Face, Figure, Color, Shape, Smell, Movements, other attributes such as Courteousness, Pleasing Personality etc. We almost know what it takes to improve the sexual attraction of man as well as woman. (Well the examples I am citing are common perceptions prevalent in the society, and I am not generalizing or trying to impose stereotypes.) For example

• If a woman uses lipsticks we say it is quite normal. But when a man uses it (unless he is about to show up before the camera) we find it a bit bizarre. One might suspect him to be a gay. (Sorry if I sound prejudiced)
• A woman typically is confident wearing a skirt only if her skin is not hairy, otherwise she would try to remove the hair from her legs before wearing it. Same is the case with a woman with mustache. On the contrary, a grown-up man with less hair on his legs is typically less confident to show up his legs for the fear of being mocked by others for looking feminine. Rather than showing his hardly-growing-mustache, he would rather want to appear clean shaven.
• A woman with similar looking lips or eyes of Aishwarya Rai will get compliments for that, but a man having the same features may not get a similar treatment. Similarly a woman who has a muscular built similar to that of John Abraham may get appreciation in the body-building circles, but may not be appreciated in terms of sexual attraction.

(Some people don't like such comparisons for various reasons. But I share it only since I felt this is relevant to this topic.)

The point I was trying to make that you cannot separate our physical attraction from sexual attraction, because what is attractive for one gender may not be so for the opposite gender. So, when you shave your face or when you shape your eye-brows, you are enhancing not only your attraction, but also sexual attraction. That does not mean that it is done with the sole purpose of attracting the opposite sex, but rather to look attractive with respect to one's own gender. Hope I have made my point clear.

Man and woman have clear differences in the body. Even in the common members such as face, hands or feet a sensible person can make out that the LORD has designed man and woman physically different, yet beautiful in one's own rite. It is these differences that primarily invoke sexual attraction between man and woman. (Of course a lot of other attributes and traits also work together. Again sexual orientation of a person also matters, which is beyond the scope of this reflection.)

Now when sexual attraction is corrupted by lust, both self and the other become objects of pleasure. Man/woman cannot cultivate lust in himself/herself without driving out love for self and other, and before that, God. That's why even the most neatly-dressed woman may be looked with covetousness by a man when filled with lust. For the same man, it is possible that he is not troubled when he looks at his daughter or sister in short night-dress, because he loves them. (It is pitiful in the case of a man who harbors lust towards those even at home.) So let me upfront admit that lust cannot be justified by the problem with the way others dress up.

Having said that, it is very important to express your love for your neighbor by not giving him/her any chance to be look at us with lust. The usual prescription we all hear is "dress modestly". Well, that is included in my list too, but it's not on the top.

1. Our body reveals the mystery of God. God is love. Love drives out lust. Love washes many sins. Remember that God loves and honors us. Remember that God loves and honors your neighbor. Love and honor ourselves and our neighbors, and we will see love replacing lust from all the gazes upon us. It is difficult for even the most dreadful sinners to look at Jesus and Mother Mary with lust. The more we look at them the more we are set free from lust.
2. Those who look proud, interact only in small circles and keep themselves aloof from the rest are more likely to attract lustful gazes, for they do not entertain loving gaze.
3. Of course, those who want to be looked at with desire will obviously get what they look for. Immodest dressing just the opposite of treating oneself with love and honor. It also offends love and respect to the neighbor, because it provokes the inclination of the neighbor towards lustful passions.
4. Immodest behavior too attracts lust. A husband and wife showing affection publicly by intimate activities provoke lustful desires in an onlooker.

(The list goes on...)

To summarize, I have experienced that the truth that God gifted me through TOB is one that sets me free. Just setting my vision right brings enormous healing to my body, mind and spirit, and TOB is doing just that. It teaches the meaning in finding me and those I look around created in a certain way. As God said at the end of each day of creation - "It is good". It is also good to thank God for making me exposed to this truth.

Blessed John Paul II, pray for us!
God, heal us in the area of sexuality!

Lessons Learnt During Praise & Worship Ministry - II

Dear all,

(Continuation of the previous posting with the subject "Lessons Learnt During Praise & Worship Ministry - I")

• (Not a real incident. This is for example only)
  In the Indo-Pak border the Army captain was pressing on hard to contain the infiltration problem. He had two companies of army posted at two key locations. The captain instructed the commanders of the 2 groups (each with 10 members) to shout "Vande Mataram" when they need to charge towards the enemy. When the time came, the commander of the 1st group thought - "Why should I waste my energy in shouting 'Vande Mataram'. No one in my group doubts my patriotism. So he said the slogan "Vande Mataram" but with an average voice. The group members felt that the commander is less confident, eventhough the enemy group were only 8 soldiers. Though they did their best, they got terribly assaluted by the enemy who charged upon them with full josh. Meanwhile the other commander was facing an enemy group of 15 people. He shouted "VANDE MAATARAM" with all of his heart, mind, spirit and strength. The group members could feel patriotism in the air... they were all set to lay their lives for their MOTHERLAND. It look less than 5 minutes only to finish all the 15 of the enemies without losing even 1 soldier, managing with minor injuries only. Thus everyone realized that the command to shout VANDE MAATARAM was not jusst meant to give honour to the country, but also to give strength and victory to themseslves.
• Some people think that Christian life is one that is very peaceful. NO.... It's the fiercest battlefield, in which you are not going to get enough rest until you finish the race. Here the enemy doesn't sleep. But the good news is that our Heavenly Father is always at work, and so is Jesus (John 5:17). To keep going, we should frequently confess with our lips our God, the name of Jesus and the salvation that He brought us. This confession of faith reassures our faith and the faith of the community. The voice of the world is loud, with the enemy ready to deceive us with his lies, and to be in focus we need to raise our voices uttering the truth.
• In fact praising our Creator is far more meaningful and fitting than to shout slogans for the motherland. "The HOLY ONE of Israel inhabits within the praises of His people." (Psalm 22:3). How much more it re-vitalizes those who utter His praises!! How much more it scares and scatters the enemy!!
• A good time of Praise and Worship prepares the way for the WORD OF GOD to produce 100 fold fruits - repentence, healings, deliverance, decision makings, reception of spiritual gifts/charisms etc.
• Two things that the Worship Leader/Team should go after - Presence of the LORD, Anointing. One is not independent of another, one brings the other.
• Music Ministry plays an important role here. Though people call it Music Ministry, it is or rather should be in fact Worship Ministry. Music in itself does no good here if it does not lead one to Praise and to Worship. A well known worship song puts it most beautifully - "I bring you more than a song, for a song in itself is not what you have required... You search much deeper within, through the way things appear... You're looking into my heart. I'm coming back to the 'heart of worship' that is all about YOU... all about you, JESUS"
• If a song is sung just as a song rather than as a praise/worship, it does not help much to experience the Presence of the LORD and his Anointing.
• You can't command Anointing of the LORD by the choice of your words and songs, but your humility and thirst for it can. "Water flows only towards the low-lying area."
• What is the role of the Music Ministry?
  
  • Is it to sing/play songs? No
  • Is it to sing praises? Yes, but that's not enough!
  • It is to lead people to praise and worship the LORD. They must not only praise & worship, but should help the entire congregation to do so
• So, their role is to complement the Worship Leader's job to help the congregation sing praises and offer worship to the LORD, with apt songs.
• Worship leader with his words declares "ABOUT THE LORD", His works, His nature and qualities that encourage the congregation to praise the LORD; Music Ministry complements with songs of praise.
• Worship leader with his words helps the congregation to utter words of love, honour and worship "TO THE LORD"; Music Ministry does the same with songs of worship.
• Until recently I thought that songs of praise are fast numbers and songs of worship are slow and soothing songs. I was not clear the difference between praise and worship, until I saw this link http://www.reference.com/motif/Society/difference-between-praise-worship.
  
  "The difference between praise and worship is that the praise is usually comprised of songs that talk about the goodness of God. The songs also sing about what the Lord has done for us and what the promises of God are. The songs talk about how good the Lord is. Worship are songs that are singing directly to God. You are singing about how you adore Him, thank him, trust him, admire him, exalt him, etc. Another way to show that you are worshiping God is to do what the word of God says that you are supposed to do. A great example of someone showing that they are worshiping God is when the Lord says in the bible to love your neighbors as yourselves. When a person begins to love someone that is unlovable you are worshiping God with your actions."

(More to come in the next edition)

Lessons Learnt During Praise & Worship Ministry - I

Dear all,

"Let us give thanks to the LORD our God.... It is right to give Him thanks and praise" (Roman Missal)

I am back here to share what I've learnt while being in the team leading worship ministry.

In the initial years, when I was in MA College of Engg, whenever I had to lead the Praise & Worship, it was almost entirely spontaneous. I was not even sure whether it is right to plan things (I was of the opinion that there is no need to plan and everything will be revealed on time.) At that time I was a little careless about how the group responded to the way I was leading. Sometimes it was good, sometimes it was not. I was a little avert to using tips and tricks in order to make the session interesting. To me it was like interfering with the work of the Holy Spirit.

It was when I came to Mumbai and started ministering to a youth prayer group in Mulund (sometime in 2002-03) that I realized that leading a P & W session needs a lot of preparation. Years with Jesus Youth Mumbai taught me a few lessons on this which I wish to share with you all. I hope that this will be of some use to the new Jesus Youth leaders, those in the parish choirs, the new leadership in KEY Army and so on.

I don't attempt to present a research paper on Praise & Worship. You will find detailed presentation on the net. As in my earlier posts on "Lessons Learnt .." series, you will find several things doubtful or inconsistent, and so feel free to disagree with my views.

• Praise and Worship is a beautiful way of responding to God's infinite love, glory, providence, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and all that He really is, with all the superlative qualities.
• The praises that we offer is something that cannot match what He rightly deserves.
• A layperson who is not used to Praise & Worship may find it awkward. One might wonder if any god would require his creation to shout praises to him; and if so, how praise-hungry god he is!! But things are a bit different...
• All the heavenly beings (Angels and Saints) constantly see the beatific vision of the One Almighty God!!! They can't help constantly praising Him whose glory and goodness has no measure!! Nobody compels them. They do so because they are really know what they are doing!
• "God so loved this world that He gave His only begotten Son so that whoever believes in Him shall not persish but have eternal life." (John 3:16) "To those who accepted Him, to those who believe in his name, he gave power to become children of God" (John 1:12). By praising and worshipping God who made all this possible, we are already doing what we will be doing in heaven for eternity.
• Our praises & worship do not add anything to the "intrinsic glory" of God or subtract anything from this glory by not doing it. But the "extrinsic glory" (glory that needs to be duly acknowledged by the creation) is not perfect; rather it's minimal compared to what He deserves. By way of our Praise & Worship, we are privileged to participate in increasing the extrinsic glory of God.
• The last person who is benefited by hearing our shouts of praise or the seeing the moments of worship will be God. Our praises confirms our faith and that of the congregation. Our worship brings us closer in intimacy with the LORD. It renders our enemy powerless. The power of God is released abundantly that breaks the bondages and set ourselves free.

(To be continued)

Just Missed!!!

Dear all,

While the Jubilee excitement is in the air, I missed by a day something that is of great importance to me.

It was on 21st October 1996, the last day of Campus Meet '96 at Nirmala College (Muvattupuzha, Kareala), that I first ever made an act of commitment to the LORD. I was not sure what I was doing, I had never had any plans to do such a thing before coming there. The last day last session was led by Manoj Sunny chettan, who talked about Jesus Youth movement, its Catholic roots, Charismatic spirituality etc. Many of the things I did not understand. But when he asked us on the previous day (20th) to write on a piece of paper the names of those who hurt me and whom I need to forgive, I did so, and I was a bit surprised when we were asked to surrender those people to the Lord and tear the paper down. But with the 3 grace-filled days, I was really responding positively to the sessions, and I honestly and earnestly obeyed. On the final day (21st), Manojettan asked us to write down a few decisions that we all want to take. I think I made a decision to surrender my life to the LORD and to be faithful to Him. And I asked Him the grace to keep the commitments, because I knew I didn't have a strong will power.

(I heard after the programme from some leaders that that programme was not as fruitful as it was expected. I don't know all those things. What I know is that the LORD touched me and blessed me through it. Praise Jesus!!)

So, it's 14th anniversary just passed after making my first commitment to the LORD. In Biblical terms, 2 Sabbath Years have gone by. It is inviting me to thank, introspect, correct, hope and march ahead along with the cloud of witnesses around me, many of those belonging to Jesus Youth movement. Say one prayer for me as you read this.

Happy Jubilee!!

Lessons Learnt while Helping the Choir

Dear all,

Being a shy person by nature and with a lot of stage-fright, it was only out of sheer need that I started becoming a part of the Music Ministry in Jesus Youth Mumbai, sometime from year 2003. Stage fright is to a little measure still there with me, but I could really see myself experiencing a tremendous healing in this area, especially when I go out on stage to sing. I shared this to encourage people who strongly feel that this is your ministry, but have lots of fear in mind.

Now I am back with something to share with you on the lessons I learnt over these years while helping in the Music Ministry. As I said about the "Mass lessons" this too is a reflection on my experience, and I am not presenting this as general rules.

• I am part of something larger than my talent / aspirations / ambitions / glory etc. etc.I've heard that when a Eucharist is celebrated, the whole heavens come down around the altar to watch the awe-inspiring mysteries of the Trinity, Incarnation, [Birth, Life, Passion, Death & Resurrection of Jesus Christ], Redemption, Transubstantiation and so on. In a smaller measure though, something similar happens during Eucharistic Adoration, Bible Proclamation, further down to Praise & Worship / Rosary etc. Nobody attending the service has come to listen to 'my voice', but my voice can be instrumental in lifting their hearts to God and His mighty presence along with the heavenly hosts.
• I am there to support the Liturgy or the specific ministry such as Word of God sharing, Praise & Worship etc.
  In the case of Mass, what I can do best is to choose the songs that suits to the theme of the Bible Readings and the Homily. I find that the Priests truly admire our effort to complement their job of putting a message across to the people of God. I might have better songs in my kitty, but they might have nothing to do with the day's theme. The same is the case when someone else is leading the Adoration, Praise & Worship etc. The beauty of the service doubles when everyone gives their best "in one accord".
• I am there to lead the people of God to greater intimacy with the LORD
  To the extent possible, I must avoid singing songs that very few or no one in the congregation knows. I must realize that majority of the congregation wants to join with us in singing. Of course there are occasions where this can be violated, for example during moments of intense worship, and only one or two lines are sung in repetition. But for most of the time, if we cannot teach the song to the congregation in advance, it will end up leading people to distraction.
• I must not be a distraction
  If I attempt fancy things to get noticed and appreciated, even if that goes extremely well there is a chance of I distracting the congregation. I must pray hard for the anointing so that when I sing they must lift up their eyes and ears to Jesus, and not down to me.
• When I prepare in prayer for the service, I must pray for the entire service, and not just for my role.
  This has happened with me several times. I prepare for the Adoration & Healing Service part where I am supposed to sing. But the service also includes Mass, Novena, Confession, Counseling etc. Our prayers must be to bring people to the experience of God's love, repentance, healing and deliverance. When I am praying for the people to be touched by God only when I sing, I forget the Power of the Mass, Power of the Intercession of the Saint whose the Novena is and so on; and I also forget the need to pray for the Priest, the Altar Ministers, other Choir members, the Congregation as a whole etc. and even the Priest who sit for Confession and the Elders who sit for counseling. It's the ministry of the Church, not just mine.
• I must know my sinfulness as well as the willingness of God to work through me
  I think it is self-explanatory. I should not forget what I am. But I should also remember that He is a generous Daddy who wants us to take part in His work. Jesus said to the disciples before He multiplied the loaves & fish - "There is no need for them to go away; give them some food yourselves." (Mat 14:16 http://www.usccb.org/nab/bible/matthew/matthew14.htm). Trust in His Words and serve Him, for multitudes will be fed through you

A Jubilee Decision

In this Jubilee Year, I am making a decision very special to me. My patron saint is St. Martin de Porres (http://magnificat.ca/cal/engl/11-03.htm). His story is worth said, that can move the heart of the hardest nature. I am known by my saint's name only in my Mulund circles only, where I got baptized in the year 2002. It sometimes pricks my conscience that even I remember him very rarely. But in these days of real blessings of the Jubilee, I have decided to remind myself and others that I am born again as "Martin", with great deal of his intercession, and above all the intercession of Mary our mother. I will be glad if anyone starts addressing me as Martin. I am sure that if someone calls me Martin when I am in the state of sin, that itself would make me run to the confessional.

The biggest detail I've ever got about St Martin was a book I read on him which is not more than 100 pages. But as I read it sometime in 1999, I knew that he is going to be my patron saint if I ever get baptized. One small book was enough to build a strong bond between us!! I received baptism on 8th September 2002 (solemnity of the Nativity of Blessed Virgin Mary, and also a Sunday), an on the same year I received my first Sacrament of Penance, First Holy Communion and Holy Confirmation. Our Bishop was coming on November 10th to give the First Holy Communion and Confirmation to the children. Since I was receiving both, Fr. Joju the parish priest said that Confirmation is generally given after Communion. But in the Solemn Celebration, Communion is at the last and Confirmation is in the middle. Since I am receiving both, I was advised to receive Communion in the previous Sunday itself. That was November 3rd 2002 Sunday, which was also the Feast of St. Martin de Porres!!!! Praise God!

Before I disclosed that I wanted to have my name as Martin, some of my prayer group members got a message that Martin is the name shown to them. That was a joyful confirmation.

This is thus my first mail with the changed signature, through which I want to proclaim to myself and to the world about what I am called to be.

Some Lessons on Celebrating the Mass

Dear all,

In the past couple of weeks, I could experience a sudden turn of events that really helped to renew my walk with the LORD. I got the grace to celebrate Mass daily, and to spent good amount of time in rosary, personal prayer, Word of God reading, writing etc. etc. I attribute all this revival to the most generous graces showered by our Father in the name of Jesus through His Spirit. This happened through the motivation & prayers of multiple people, not as a group but in individual personal interactions, but all working together in proper order for the salvation of my poor soul. Another reiteration/affirmation of God's constant love and concern for me.

At this juncture, to start with my own response to my "Jubilee Thoughts", I am sharing a few lessons I learnt in my struggle to celebrate Holy Mass in a worthy manner. These are not general rules, but things I felt really apply to me. I am sharing this to myself grow in this fellowship, but if anyone finds this useful, it's a bonus!

In this span of 14 years since I first started celebrating Mass, I have gone through my ups and downs in the way I celebrate the Mass. I notice that in my beginning years, I used to see God's presence with the whole heavenly hosts upon the altar, but many a times in the years later, I had to struggle with lots of wandering thoughts during the celebration. I found that though my faith in the Real Presence never reduced, the devotion to it varied. I used to wonder what was wrong, and wanted to figure out how to deal with the problem.

As I introspected, I could find out the following things:

• When I was not regularly spending time in personal prayers, there were distractions during the Mass.
  The connection? I meditate/contemplate a lot during my prayer time. If I am not spending time in prayer, I would instead spend time in contemplation during the Holy Mass. Thus, instead of watching closely the Holy Mass and its mysteries, I would do my contemplation, which I came to as "not healthy", though contemplation was something good.
• When I am not using my Liturgy Book, I tend to get distracted.
  When I shared my difficulty to some of my friends and to some religious sisters, they recommended me to use the Liturgy Book. I could not first accept this suggestion, because I though that I will lose spontaneity if "read" prayers from a book. But I was amazed to see that their suggestion was full of wisdom, and it worked. I learnt that almost all the religious sisters daily use the Mass book, eventhough they know the prayers by-heart much more than we do. Why? One of the reasons is this: If you are not using the book, you'll need to put some effort to remember the prayers, however small that effort is. Our focus might shift to saying the prayers correctly from our memory "by-heart" rather than saying the prayers "from heart". Again, we may also tend to feel the pride in "knowing it fully" especially when you see your 'poor' neighbor "needs a book". (All this may not be true for you, but it is for me)
• When I get distracted for some part of the Mass, I would get discouraged for the rest of the Mass.
  Even with my best efforts, it was (and is) common that distractions happen. At times I even "miss" the most important parts such as "Words of Institution" and the "Invocation of the Holy Spirit". Till some time back, if I got distracted for some portion of the Eucharist, I used to get discouraged till the end scolding myself for the same. But when God convicted me that though I need to set high standards for myself (according to the gospel values), I need not put high expectations from myself, that too so soon. God made me realize how poor I am and how He still loves me. The times when I was walking triumphantly with Him did not point to my greatness but to His ability to cover my inability. So what if I got distracted for a few minutes, I can humble myself and with ten times zeal try to open myself to the infinite graces of the Most Holy Eucharist by giving my best in the remaining moments, even if I come to my senses only during the Final Blessing.

That's all for now. I hope to continue my sharings as and when inspired to do so. I pray that I may be inspired all the time. ;-) If this inspires you in anyway to share your experiences, let that add glory to HIM.

Syro Malabar Mass - Songs with Chords

Dear all,

Ever since I started playing guitar for the mass, I was longing for an "inline chord book" for the Syro English Mass. Finally I have made it. But it is something that may require correction. Those who have Mass songs CD with you and who have chords sense, kindly send me the corrections.

Those who are learning/practising guitar, keyboard etc., please use this book also while you learn, so that not only will you practice, but also we have a few among us who are familiar with the Mass songs and can use the opportunity to do your part in the music ministry.

Syro Malabar Mass in Malayalam - Chords


Syro Malabar Mass in English - Chords

Sin, Righteousness and Condemnation - Part 2

(See Part 1)

If my article inspires at least one person to approach God with confidence in spite of all unworthiness and sinfulness, I would regard that this mission of mine is fruitful.

The final words of a leader, a prophet or a saint are considered precious by the followers and those who regard him, and thus carry special significance. Though every single Word uttered by Jesus were precious, inspired and inspiring, the last things that he did were of very high importance. For example, He cried out to the Father commending His spirit unto Him. Similarly, the mutual entrusting of His mother (the woman) and the disciple whom he loved most, forgiveness offered to those who persecuted and mocked at Him etc. etc. So also is the final discourse that he gave to the disciples during the Passover meal.

It is very much noticeable that it was the first time we see in the Scriptures where Jesus spent so much time talking about the Holy Spirit and the way He was going to guide the Church. The promise of the Spirit was given not with any reservations, since Jesus knew and clearly foretold that a few moments from then that he was going to be betrayed, handed over, left alone and denied by the disciples. Instead, the Spirit was promised based on the infinite merits He himself earned for them (and us) being born as a man in flesh like us, endured temptations as we do (well, in its highest form), and living a life pleasing His Father in perfect and uncompromising obedience that even cost him his own life, offering it as a perfect sacrifice in atonement of all the sins of the entire mankind.

Point 1: The Holy Spirit was promised to the disciples at a time when they were not so strong in faith; rather, they were to receive strength and power through faith once they would receive the same Spirit (Acts 1:8). So don't worry if you are stumbling often in the walk with God. The promise of the Spirit is still with you as long as you are a disciple (a person who has made a choice / decision to answer to His call, to be disciplined, trained and enabled by the Master). Your discipline is not going to earn you the Spirit, but the Spirit who has been given to you will enable you to become his perfect disciple.

When I first read the passage of our discussion (John 16:7-13), I was a little surprised about the 3 things that the Spirit would convict the world of - Sin, Righteousness and Condemnation. Well, what's so big deal about these 3 things? Aren't they obvious? I thought I had already known well about these subjects. But being a neophyte, recently converted into this new faith from a totally different background, I knew one thing then; that there are so many things beyond my understanding. All those first 20 odd years of my life, I lived in total ignorance about God. It had never seemed obvious to me that someone like God ever existed. Then on one fine evening in the premises of St. George's Cathederal sitting with my classmate, I saw with fearful surprise that my friend is talking to Jesus in plain coloquial Malayalam language, as casually as he talks with me, with hardly any doubt that he is being heard. He was interceding for me, and I could experience the consoling presence of God who was lifting the burden gradually from my heavy laden heart. Weeks later, I was hearing more and more about this Jesus Christ from a few of my friends who too have experienced the manifest presence and power of Jesus, even through physical and mental healing. Again later, CAMPUS MEET '96 helped me walk a few steps ahead. And I cannot forget that evening when 3 of us were praying together in the class room Vimalagiri school when I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Now I knew that I am just at the doorstep of a whole new and exciting world of which I had very little idea.

Thus, I was sure that there must be a lot of misconceptions I had (and the world has) about the above mentioned 3 things, which can be cleared only in the light of the wisdom that God grants through the Spirit. God gave me a thirst to explore the truth with all my strength right in the beginning of my walk with the him. "Seek, and you shall find...", I was certain that so will be it. If God is ready to reveal himself, then will he not be ready to share his wisdom? more so when he has encouraged us to seek him, his kingdom and his righteousness? So this thirst made me read the Bible, which I think I could read entirely in the span of a few months, along with a few wonderful books that helped me a lot to get me familiar with the exciting truths of this new world, which I came to know as being called "the Kingdom of God". It took me several years to understand what I am attempting to comment on, about the above 3 things; and I know that my understanding is very small. This is a humble attempt, and I hope to do so gradually in the upcoming mails, as and when the time permits. I invite all of you to read these, benefit from them if they are from God, correct them whenever it is from my ignorance or pride. I am sure that if not others, at least I will be benefited from this exercise. I hope to research on this more than ever before.

- To be Continued

Catechism Std VI Q & A

Being a Catechism teacher in my parish is really something that makes me feel proud of and reminds me of the big responsibility and calling I have to pass on from the rich deposit of wisdom, faith and values of Catholicism that I have inherited from my Church to the new generation. I have a great hope in the young generation that they will respond to Jesus and his Way if we do our part well by helping them to experience Him and to present before them a true witnessing lifestyle. At the same time, I am slightly concerned about the possibility of taking Catechism as another mere academic excercise not only by the students, but also by the parents and very likely by the Catechism teachers themselves. How much of faith and experience can be passed on to them in the limited but fully packed schedule of time we spend with the children is a question before us.

While helping the students to prepare for the exams, I found that it was a good idea to give them notes in a simpler way rather than marking the answers on the textbook itself. Also, I thought of distributing printed notes to them so that I can use the class hours for more quality matters.

I sometimes had an apprehension that I might be spoiling the students by providing the printed notes. But looking at the time constraints of class hours, I feel that I am doing the right thing. You are free to correct me, and convince me if I am doing wrong, and I assure you that I will unpublish these notes from the public domain.

As of now, Catechism teachers and students are free to download and use it without any permissions or copyrights.

You can download the notes of the book "People Who Experienced Jesus" for the Std VI of Syro-Malabar Church Catechism syllabus. In Kalyan diocese, this book is taught in alternate years for Classes V and VI combined. I hope to come back with you with the notes of other books too some time later.

Attachment: People Who Experienced Jesus

Testimony of a Campus Ministry Product

Around 12 years back, during the Diwali holidays, a young man attended Campus Meet '96 in Nirmala College, Muvattupuzha in Kerala. His name is Binu Asokan, yes it's me ;). He was a shy, introvert, struggling guy. Many in his college (Mar Athanasius College of Engg, Kerala) thought he was a bubbling personality, one of a coolest kind - and that's what he wanted others to think too; but deep within he was hiding so many things - lack of satisfaction, confidence, hope, direction etc. He was very talented in many areas - whether it was sports or arts, and he had quite a few fans too. His jokes (many a time having double meanings and untidy words) too had fan following (unfortunately). But none of these fans nor the closest "cool" friends knew what he was going through within.

He had his "first-love" relationship broken a year back then, since he found himself helpless when the girl (of his same age) told him that her parents were considering proposals for her; and this guy was very sure that it would take him at least 7-8 years more to get settled in life. They had then mutually decided not to continue with the relationship, since there were so much of uncertainties ahead of us, and we both did not want to put our parents in trouble because of us.

Again, in the recent times he had some incidents of painful memory. He used to love his campus and friends so much, since that was the place where he got a lot of recognition and appreciation, and friends thought of him as a cool guy. He used to even have "hostel-sickness" (instead of "home-sickness") when he went his home on weekends. But now, the situation had changed. The wave of "students' politics" had swept over their batch, which used to be earlier known for its "batch spirit and unity". He, being a good sportsman, was elected that year as the Sports' Secretary of his College Hostel under the banner of the "red-flagged party". (Each hostel had its own unions, and the elections were conducted on party basis). He then had to undergo a painful experience from his party because of his impartial opinions made in the Hostel Union meetings. Some of those decisions supported by him were questioned in the "party meeting" and he was asked to give an "explanation" for his decisions for which the party had a different viewpoint. The most shocking was that his own room-mate - one of his closest buddies - was the one who raised his voice the most, pointing finger at him, counting the "undisciplinary" decisions made by him. Many others of his dear friends watched the firing silently. His face fell, so did his heart. He started feeling uncomfortable and lonely in his campus, since the greatest thing he treasured - his "friends' circle" - was the one that "betrayed" him.

Now it was not very accidental that he decided to attend the Campus Meet '96. There were certain incidents in his life, which drew him to the event. He had a friend, a classmate, named Hormise. He was not the closest friend, but was a very good, loving, caring, understanding friend. Once as these two were traveling in bus on their way back to homes on a weekend, Hormise enquired with Binu whether everything is alright or not. Binu replied - "Yes, everything is going alright." Hormise' approach was very encouraging, and then he said - "I once heard that you and some of your friends were involved in (some particular activity) in your hostel, and I was a little worried about you, and that night I went on my knees and prayed for you!". Binu was shocked!! 'What was there in (my activity) that he felt I needed prayers?' He felt something different about this. 'Either this Hormise was crazy, or... he might be right too, but then there might be many things that I might not know.' The second possibility, if there, was something Binu wanted to know more of. He also felt that Hormise was a person with whom he felt more comfortable than all the other buddies and "cool guys" he knew. There was something special about him!!

Binu later learnt that Hormise was a part of a Catholic group called Jesus Youth, which had a small prayer group for the students of their college, and that Hormise was a firm believer of God. One day, while he was feeling disturbed and uncomfortable about certain things that were worrying him, he invited Hormise to go to Church together. (Now, Binu was from a Hindu background. He used to be fascinated by the Hindu mythological stories which his grandmother used to narrate when he was very young. He knew more such stories than most of the urban guys of his generation. When the 'love-break' happened a year back, he had given a try to find solace and comfort by visiting a nearby temple frequently, but it was not of much help, apart from a satisfaction and hope that some day things would be OK.)

Hormise obliged, and they went to St. George Cathedral on his bike. Binu did not know what to do and how to do in a Church, so he decided to do what Hormise would do. When Hormise knelt down and made a sign of the Cross, he too did so; when the former sat on a bench, the latter too did. He was watching the former very carefully. After around 20 minutes or so, Hormise, stood up and came outside. The follower did his part too. Hormise invited him to sit near the steps, and was all prepared to listen to what Binu had to say. Now Binu, slowly opened up, with a lot of reluctance, that he needs a big change. It was not so easy for him, for he did not exactly figure out what is troubling him the most. Now, at the end of this sharing, Hormise asked him whether he shall pray for him. Binu was more than happy to let that happen. He was to witness something that he never expected in his whole life. He watched Hormise speaking to his dearest friend - Jesus Christ - as if He were very much present right there. To him, Jesus was a familiar person, to who he had a chat with very often. He surrendered all the struggles and pain of Binu, acknowledging that Jesus was the only person who loves Binu the most, and the one who knows and understands Binu more than any other person in this world, and the one who can solve all the problems of his life!!! Tears started overflowing Binu's eyes. He could sense a divine presence, that slowly turned his burdened heart into a free and light one. He experienced a deep sense of relief and hope.

Both of them returned to hostels. Binu thanked Hormise for his time and patience. Though he experienced peace and comfort, he was a long way from believing that it was really God's presence that made the difference. He thought that it could be a good psychological experience only. But he had a sincere appreciation for Hormise and his "Christian faith" that can lead to such psychological effects!!!

Later, there happened a retreat for their college. Hormise invited Binu, but the latter was not much interested. It was during this time that the "Hostel Elections" happened. It was a celebration time for him, and retreat had no place in his agenda. But since the post-election "party-dose" turned out to be a bitter cup for him, he remembered the "psychological experience" with Hormise, and waited for the next opportunity to attend Jesus Youth programme.

That opportunity came in the shape of Campus Meet '96. Jim and Tojan, some of the prayer group members showed him the brochure of the event, and Binu was deeply impressed!! The theme verse of the event was - "In Him was life and that life was the light of all men." (John 1:4). The is Word somehow penetrated his heart and disturbed him. He thought - "'In Him was life'... even I have life. What's so special about 'His life'? Yeah, His life was the light of all men, but mine is in deep darkness!" He longed to understand more about this life, and if possible, to experience it (If what this verse claimed was true). He made a decision to go for this programme. Since then, whenever he saw the posters and brochure of this event, he felt that he was getting closer to what his heart was yearning for - GOD. His confidence grew when he spent a few minutes a day at Jim's room, when Jim would open the Bible for him. Always he used to receive portions that Jim had underlined during his retreats - the Words of healing and comfort, assurances of His powerful presence with us. Jim used to say, "I had marked these portions during my retreats so that I could locate them easily. But usually when I open the Bible I don't get these passages. But when you are with me, I am always getting such beautiful messages. I am sure God is speaking this specially to you!!". Such words were truly those of hope and encouragement. Jim had also shared with him his retreat experiences, inner healing, and the physical healing of his ear that used to have puss problem on which doctors had given up.

Binu came to Campus Meet along with the college prayer group members. He saw that the whole atmosphere was so beautiful and different from the kind of pleasures of the world that he was after. When he entered the hall, he saw around 700 youngsters singing along with the Music Ministry and worshipping God!! Something he could never even imagine!! So many youth asembled there have no shame acknowledging the existence of God!!! In this programme, he was touched by the testimonies of several youths who shared their God experiences, and he wished that even he could have so many beautiful experiences of God's intervention in his life. The praise & worship, adoration, group dynamics, video presentations, skits and interaction with so many people, all was so new and wonderful to him. It was also a time when he heard from his friends that to lead a life acceptable before God, we need to be holy, and forsake all the ways, habits, words, attitudes, companies etc. that do not conform to His will. It was a tough lesson for him, for he knew that he was not holy, and was not sure if he could bid good bye to many of his ways and habits. But he somehow felt that if God demands holiness from him, He would also strengthen him enough to do what it required to meet the demand. He made some firm decisions in the presence of the LORD.

When they were back from the event, Binu started to attend college prayer meetings at Vimalagiri High School, had daily rosary with Tojan, had frequent interactions with Hormise and other prayer group members. Now the college prayer group had been planning for a one day retreat for the college, and they had a daily intercession meeting in Vimalagiri. Hormise invited Binu to join that, and one evening he went for the same. By this time he had learnt to say the Rosary. They used to say 3 rosaries together. By the time they finished one Rosary, Binu started to experience something strange. His hands started feeling cold, and soon he felt something like electricity passing through him. It was real, it was soothing, and he learnt later that it was the Spirit of God manifesting in his body in a tangible way. He felt revitalized, and from that day onwards, he got strength to overcome several of the temptations of the Evil One that once used to drag him to bad habits, bad talk and bad lifestyle. His faith was dramatically confirmed, and he did not had a slightest of doubt at that time till now that it was God's hand that touched him and did the work in him. About a year and a half he spent in his campus was a time of transformation and growth. The formation he received in the prayer group was awesome. It was as if God gave him a Crash Course on faith, not compromising on the syllabus!!! He grew in faith, hope, love, character, understanding, wisdom, hope, confidence, direction, inner-healing and much more! May be if you look at Binu today, you may not find anything so special, but still if you compare him with the old Binu he used to be, ie. Binu in his BC and now in his AD, there is a far cry between both!! I am sure.

My story of conversion does not end here. Probably at a later time I can narrate the events that happened later. I have done this excercise of taking more than 3 hours in the night recollecting and writing my testimony, for a specific purpose: I want you to realize the difference that a Campus Prayer group can do to someone's life. Are you fortunate to be born as a Christian? Do you feel complacent with that? Don't you think that you have some duty towards those who have never heard of a Saviour, or those who have heard of him, but never have experienced Jesus as their Lord and Saviour? A prayer group, that was started in 1986 by the initiative of a few ordinary people led by our very own Soney (Noble) chechi, could win many souls like me in the campus. I was not the only one. In fact, in my final year, out of the 12 core group leaders, 4 were non-Christians, and 2 others were non-Catholics (Of course, all of them were in Catholic faith). The group had also touched the lives of many Christians themselves, who otherwise were nominal Christians.

Campus is a place/time where the youngsters seek a lot of fulfillment in life, where they do different experiments with life, and often do experiments on themselves too. Many tend to trod the wrong path after they enter the campus life. We are dreaming of building Campus Ministry in each and every College in Mumbai, so that every soul may experience Jesus, and not be lost in the deceptions of this world!

Not only to Forgive, but to LOVE

It is easy to preach, but not so to practise. It demands a good deal of courage and perseverance. And it's possible only through the GRACE of God. If you think you can do it without grace and assistance of God's Spirit, you are wrong!!!

Wondering what I am talking about? It's on FORGIVENESS.

I have been struggling hard to come to terms with the fact that some party who owes me a huge amount of money seems to be trying all the means to avoid paying it back to me. Of course, they have their own justification for doing so. There were couple of things that were troubling me.

1. The loss of money itself, which is a huge amount to me. Well, apart from my salary, I do not have any other means of income or have a strong financial background. But I managed to mentally write off the money. Also my wife, who shares this loss equally with me by all sense, suggested me to forget the money, and not to worry about it. Thankfully, my wife and I are not so obsessed with money. All glory to God alone.
2. The thought that I am cheated really haunted me. I gave them my best, but not only that I am not getting the same in return, but also that I am treated as an offender against them.
3. Though I decided many times to forgive them, it was very difficult. There is lot of anger and bitterness towards them.

For a practising Christian, the guideline is very clear. Forgiveness. See Matthew 6.

14. If you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will forgive you.
15. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions.

There is no option for me but to forgive them, coz I know my transgressions are too many to be counted, yet I am forgiven of all of them. The importance of forgiveness is evident from the fact that it is mentioned in the greatest prayer that's taught by Jesus himself. (Matthew 6 again)

9. "This is how you are to pray: Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name,
10. your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.
11. Give us today our daily bread;
12. and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors;
13. and do not subject us to the final test, but deliver us from the evil one.

I know all this. But why am I struggling so hard to practise forgiveness. Tonight, as I was praying & reflecting, I got the answer!!! It's in the words of Jesus in Matthew 5.

38. "You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.'
39. But I say to you, offer no resistance to one who is evil. When someone strikes you on (your) right cheek, turn the other one to him as well.
40. If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well.
41. Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles.
42. Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on one who wants to borrow.
43. "You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.'
44. But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you,
45. that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
46. For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same?
47. And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that? Do not the pagans do the same?
48. So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.

"Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you!!!" That's the key!! I was able to write off the money. But the thought that I am cheated was so strong that I was not able to love them. To know that I need to forgive, and to actually forgive - it'is different. If I do not love a person who offended me, I have not forgiven him. Even though I took time to pray for them, what prayer is it if it is without love?

Tonight, as I was praying, with my eyes opened, lying down on bed, I invited the presence of God. I slowly said the prayer - "Sweet Sacred Heart of Jesus, be my love... "

Yes, I wanted Jesus to be my first love. I began to experience His love, and was being filled with His love. Then I offered my struggle before him. He was filling me with so much love, that I could not help loving all of them. I could experience the difference in me. And soon I remembered the above Bible verse regarding love. I could not stop myself, but wanted to share this experience to you, my dear reader. I started composing this posting at 1:40 in the night, and it's 3:30 now. Ya, I take lot of time in writing...

I know I spent only a few moments with the Lord tonight. And for the process of forgiveness and healing will take time. But I am glad that it will happen soon. Praise Jesus!!!

Another thing I learned - It's my pride working when I am expecting that they are not going to pay me up; or, when I think that others are not as good as I am. Personally, they may be far better than me. So now I am learning to accept that they are good, and some day they will pay up my money. So.. what's wrong in loving or forgiving someone, whom tomorrow I may come to know as far better than I am. Let God decide who is good and who is bad, and my job is to receive forgiveness and love from God, and to forgive and love my neighbour.

Undoubtedly, His love is unlimited!!!!

My New Born Baby Boy

By God's immense grace, yours truly has become a DAD again to another baby boy. He was delivered through a Caesarean operation at 09:05 AM IST, 19th April 2007, with 3.350 kg weight. Both mother and the child are healthy and perfectly OK.