We'll have some music to start with...
Now, let me share something from that I learnt from my experiences in the light of the Theology of the Body (TOB) taught by (soon to be declared Blessed) Pope John Paul II (JP2). This is about the way we clothe ourselves. I mean 'clothe' in its literal sense, and not spiritual, such as clothe in salvation, purity, poverty etc.
With a highly broken and abused sexuality, it was very difficult for me to confidently confront women. Having for so long considered the beauty of woman as something to be looked upon with lust, I faced difficulty in the initial days of my Christian walk. It was through the loving motherly & sisterly care and love of the prayer group members that God used to teach the value and strengths of a woman. Personalities with a healed sexuality or those growing towards it are among the things that charmed me when I read the biographies of saints, that gave me the confidence that it is possible.
These days it is very common to see girls wearing mini skirts and very less clothes; and guys wearing transparent clothes. It is not because they can't afford more clothes, because they appear to be as expensive as or even more expensive than normal clothes. In the last two years, we were finding it difficult to get a high waist or even medium waist jeans for my wife, since in most shops only low-waists are available. We are also often forced to dig up T-shirts and tops with a decent neck, finding only a small percentage satisfying even our moderate needs. This givens a clear indication of something:- our culture has easily accepted the fashions promoted by the media. Things that used to make us raise our eyebrows two years back are now well-accepted.
TOB is the first teaching that I have seen that narrated in detail about "nakedness without shame". The Pope points to our Guru Jesus who invites us to look at the situation "in the beginning". In the beginning, man and woman were naked, but they did not feel shame. Had they not sinned, we all would have today looked at each other with the same freedom that our first parents then had. So parents would have been comfortable before their adolescent kids appearing as they are; naked, so would be young men and women studying in the college. We would have seen the image and likeness of God imprinted in our souls that is made visible by our bodies. Without the corruption of sin, our bodies would have been even more beautiful, not requiring any make-up, hair dyes, deodorants, anti-ageing creams etc., for they would not have suffered any wrinkle or spot. That was the power of original innocence. Dress was not in God's original plan. Imagine how much expenditure would have been avoided!! Today itself I had to shell out around 5K during the tempting end of season sale.
And then the sin entered the human dimension. First consequence was that their eyes were opened; and they realized that they were naked. They covered they body members with fig leaves weaved together. Then they went hiding for the fear of facing God.
The simplicity of the Scriptures often 'deceives' the proud hearted. They think that they know these 'books' very well. That was why I always wondered why opening of eyes is such a bad thing. Afterall what was their fault? They were seeking the knowledge of good and evil. Was not Solomon blessed for asking this same favour from the same God? Why in the first place did God forbid the fruit? Was he afraid of man knowing right and wrong and thus become like Him?
With TOB as well as the traditional interpretation of the Church, one comes to the understanding that the forbidden fruit is the temptation to disobey God and in some sense to play God by deciding what is good (and right) and what is evil (and wrong). (You can see that this same problem is the heart of all the evils today prevalent in the world where Church faces the greatest challenge - Relativism, Atheism, Abortion, Contraception, Homosexuality, Radical Feminism, Liberation Theology, Marxism etc. Rather than discerning what is good and evil as Solomon prayed, we tend to decide what is evil and what is good.) It is a denial of the revealed truth or revelation from God. It is not only disobedience of God, but also a lack of faith and trust in God. It is a faith in the father of all lies that God is someone who wants to hold something for Himself, and if you get hold of that you can be like God and does not need to depend on Himself (need not submit to His authority). It has no comparison to Solomon's prayer. They didn't desire any good. They wanted "to be like God" apart from God. Little did they remember that God created them in His image and likeness, that they were the crown of creations. They didn't know that their foolishness to get hold of "something that God withheld from them" would one day be cancelled by sending His only begotten son for us to be the sacrificial victim. "He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him?" - Rom 8:32
TOB teaches that man and woman knew that their bodies revealed a nuptial meaning of their existence. ie. they were created to be a gift to each other. This was clear with Adam's first love song - "here is at last, the bone of my bone, and the flesh of my flesh". But with sin, their vision became corrupted by "lust". They "opened their eyes" to see each other as things to be [ab]used rather than as gifts to each other. They knew that a terrible corruption has occurred. "Ah... what have we done to ourselves??" To save each other from lustful vision, they decided to protect themselves by wearing their ameteaurly made clothes. God later on gave them a professionally made clothe (with animal skin). Pope JP2 says that though shame was not in the original scheme of things, it nevertheless gave the awareness to protect themselves from lust, and hence in the current scheme of things (after the original sin) shame helps.
Though TOB is a lot more than all this, this is the point which I wish to highlight in this reflection.
The point I was trying to make that you cannot separate our physical attraction from sexual attraction, because what is attractive for one gender may not be so for the opposite gender. So, when you shave your face or when you shape your eye-brows, you are enhancing not only your attraction, but also sexual attraction. That does not mean that it is done with the sole purpose of attracting the opposite sex, but rather to look attractive with respect to one's own gender. Hope I have made my point clear.
Man and woman have clear differences in the body. Even in the common members such as face, hands or feet a sensible person can make out that the LORD has designed man and woman physically different, yet beautiful in one's own rite. It is these differences that primarily invoke sexual attraction between man and woman. (Of course a lot of other attributes and traits also work together. Again sexual orientation of a person also matters, which is beyond the scope of this reflection.)
Now when sexual attraction is corrupted by lust, both self and the other become objects of pleasure. Man/woman cannot cultivate lust in himself/herself without driving out love for self and other, and before that, God. That's why even the most neatly-dressed woman may be looked with covetousness by a man when filled with lust. For the same man, it is possible that he is not troubled when he looks at his daughter or sister in short night-dress, because he loves them. (It is pitiful in the case of a man who harbors lust towards those even at home.) So let me upfront admit that lust cannot be justified by the problem with the way others dress up.
Having said that, it is very important to express your love for your neighbor by not giving him/her any chance to be look at us with lust. The usual prescription we all hear is "dress modestly". Well, that is included in my list too, but it's not on the top.
To summarize, I have experienced that the truth that God gifted me through TOB is one that sets me free. Just setting my vision right brings enormous healing to my body, mind and spirit, and TOB is doing just that. It teaches the meaning in finding me and those I look around created in a certain way. As God said at the end of each day of creation - "It is good". It is also good to thank God for making me exposed to this truth.
Blessed John Paul II, pray for us!
God, heal us in the area of sexuality!
Now a brief intro to the Theology of the Body and Christopher West's mission. (From a short interview) | ||
With a highly broken and abused sexuality, it was very difficult for me to confidently confront women. Having for so long considered the beauty of woman as something to be looked upon with lust, I faced difficulty in the initial days of my Christian walk. It was through the loving motherly & sisterly care and love of the prayer group members that God used to teach the value and strengths of a woman. Personalities with a healed sexuality or those growing towards it are among the things that charmed me when I read the biographies of saints, that gave me the confidence that it is possible.
These days it is very common to see girls wearing mini skirts and very less clothes; and guys wearing transparent clothes. It is not because they can't afford more clothes, because they appear to be as expensive as or even more expensive than normal clothes. In the last two years, we were finding it difficult to get a high waist or even medium waist jeans for my wife, since in most shops only low-waists are available. We are also often forced to dig up T-shirts and tops with a decent neck, finding only a small percentage satisfying even our moderate needs. This givens a clear indication of something:- our culture has easily accepted the fashions promoted by the media. Things that used to make us raise our eyebrows two years back are now well-accepted.
TOB is the first teaching that I have seen that narrated in detail about "nakedness without shame". The Pope points to our Guru Jesus who invites us to look at the situation "in the beginning". In the beginning, man and woman were naked, but they did not feel shame. Had they not sinned, we all would have today looked at each other with the same freedom that our first parents then had. So parents would have been comfortable before their adolescent kids appearing as they are; naked, so would be young men and women studying in the college. We would have seen the image and likeness of God imprinted in our souls that is made visible by our bodies. Without the corruption of sin, our bodies would have been even more beautiful, not requiring any make-up, hair dyes, deodorants, anti-ageing creams etc., for they would not have suffered any wrinkle or spot. That was the power of original innocence. Dress was not in God's original plan. Imagine how much expenditure would have been avoided!! Today itself I had to shell out around 5K during the tempting end of season sale.
And then the sin entered the human dimension. First consequence was that their eyes were opened; and they realized that they were naked. They covered they body members with fig leaves weaved together. Then they went hiding for the fear of facing God.
The simplicity of the Scriptures often 'deceives' the proud hearted. They think that they know these 'books' very well. That was why I always wondered why opening of eyes is such a bad thing. Afterall what was their fault? They were seeking the knowledge of good and evil. Was not Solomon blessed for asking this same favour from the same God? Why in the first place did God forbid the fruit? Was he afraid of man knowing right and wrong and thus become like Him?
With TOB as well as the traditional interpretation of the Church, one comes to the understanding that the forbidden fruit is the temptation to disobey God and in some sense to play God by deciding what is good (and right) and what is evil (and wrong). (You can see that this same problem is the heart of all the evils today prevalent in the world where Church faces the greatest challenge - Relativism, Atheism, Abortion, Contraception, Homosexuality, Radical Feminism, Liberation Theology, Marxism etc. Rather than discerning what is good and evil as Solomon prayed, we tend to decide what is evil and what is good.) It is a denial of the revealed truth or revelation from God. It is not only disobedience of God, but also a lack of faith and trust in God. It is a faith in the father of all lies that God is someone who wants to hold something for Himself, and if you get hold of that you can be like God and does not need to depend on Himself (need not submit to His authority). It has no comparison to Solomon's prayer. They didn't desire any good. They wanted "to be like God" apart from God. Little did they remember that God created them in His image and likeness, that they were the crown of creations. They didn't know that their foolishness to get hold of "something that God withheld from them" would one day be cancelled by sending His only begotten son for us to be the sacrificial victim. "He who did not spare his own Son but handed him over for us all, how will he not also give us everything else along with him?" - Rom 8:32
TOB teaches that man and woman knew that their bodies revealed a nuptial meaning of their existence. ie. they were created to be a gift to each other. This was clear with Adam's first love song - "here is at last, the bone of my bone, and the flesh of my flesh". But with sin, their vision became corrupted by "lust". They "opened their eyes" to see each other as things to be [ab]used rather than as gifts to each other. They knew that a terrible corruption has occurred. "Ah... what have we done to ourselves??" To save each other from lustful vision, they decided to protect themselves by wearing their ameteaurly made clothes. God later on gave them a professionally made clothe (with animal skin). Pope JP2 says that though shame was not in the original scheme of things, it nevertheless gave the awareness to protect themselves from lust, and hence in the current scheme of things (after the original sin) shame helps.
Though TOB is a lot more than all this, this is the point which I wish to highlight in this reflection.
- The first point is that we all need to acknowledge the inclination all human beings have towards lust. We should not be shocked to find ourselves or our neighbors being troubled by lust. When we love ourselves and also our neighbors as ourselves, we should love as we/they are.
- When we present ourselves before others, we must be charitable to the fact that my appearance must not trouble our neighbors in the area of lust.
- Lust dominates when we look at a person as a thing, and not as a gift. If we look at a person as God's gift, we are filled with gratitude towards God and love towards the person. This way we can grow in dominion over lust.
- Lust should not be confused with sexual desire. The former is a capital sin, and the latter is a gift from God. Sexual desire is planted by God in man and woman as they are created to be a gift to one another.
- Our sexual desire needs to be liberated from lust, and to be directed towards the purpose that it is meant for. Lust leads to [ab]using oneself as well as the other[s].
- If a woman uses lipsticks we say it is quite normal. But when a man uses it (unless he is about to show up before the camera) we find it a bit bizarre. One might suspect him to be a gay. (Sorry if I sound prejudiced)
- A woman typically is confident wearing a skirt only if her skin is not hairy, otherwise she would try to remove the hair from her legs before wearing it. Same is the case with a woman with mustache. On the contrary, a grown-up man with less hair on his legs is typically less confident to show up his legs for the fear of being mocked by others for looking feminine. Rather than showing his hardly-growing-mustache, he would rather want to appear clean shaven.
- A woman with similar looking lips or eyes of Aishwarya Rai will get compliments for that, but a man having the same features may not get a similar treatment. Similarly a woman who has a muscular built similar to that of John Abraham may get appreciation in the body-building circles, but may not be appreciated in terms of sexual attraction.
The point I was trying to make that you cannot separate our physical attraction from sexual attraction, because what is attractive for one gender may not be so for the opposite gender. So, when you shave your face or when you shape your eye-brows, you are enhancing not only your attraction, but also sexual attraction. That does not mean that it is done with the sole purpose of attracting the opposite sex, but rather to look attractive with respect to one's own gender. Hope I have made my point clear.
Man and woman have clear differences in the body. Even in the common members such as face, hands or feet a sensible person can make out that the LORD has designed man and woman physically different, yet beautiful in one's own rite. It is these differences that primarily invoke sexual attraction between man and woman. (Of course a lot of other attributes and traits also work together. Again sexual orientation of a person also matters, which is beyond the scope of this reflection.)
Now when sexual attraction is corrupted by lust, both self and the other become objects of pleasure. Man/woman cannot cultivate lust in himself/herself without driving out love for self and other, and before that, God. That's why even the most neatly-dressed woman may be looked with covetousness by a man when filled with lust. For the same man, it is possible that he is not troubled when he looks at his daughter or sister in short night-dress, because he loves them. (It is pitiful in the case of a man who harbors lust towards those even at home.) So let me upfront admit that lust cannot be justified by the problem with the way others dress up.
Having said that, it is very important to express your love for your neighbor by not giving him/her any chance to be look at us with lust. The usual prescription we all hear is "dress modestly". Well, that is included in my list too, but it's not on the top.
- Our body reveals the mystery of God. God is love. Love drives out lust. Love washes many sins. Remember that God loves and honors us. Remember that God loves and honors your neighbor. Love and honor ourselves and our neighbors, and we will see love replacing lust from all the gazes upon us. It is difficult for even the most dreadful sinners to look at Jesus and Mother Mary with lust. The more we look at them the more we are set free from lust.
- Those who look proud, interact only in small circles and keep themselves aloof from the rest are more likely to attract lustful gazes, for they do not entertain loving gaze.
- Of course, those who want to be looked at with desire will obviously get what they look for. Immodest dressing just the opposite of treating oneself with love and honor. It also offends love and respect to the neighbor, because it provokes the inclination of the neighbor towards lustful passions.
- Immodest behavior too attracts lust. A husband and wife showing affection publicly by intimate activities provoke lustful desires in an onlooker.
To summarize, I have experienced that the truth that God gifted me through TOB is one that sets me free. Just setting my vision right brings enormous healing to my body, mind and spirit, and TOB is doing just that. It teaches the meaning in finding me and those I look around created in a certain way. As God said at the end of each day of creation - "It is good". It is also good to thank God for making me exposed to this truth.
Blessed John Paul II, pray for us!
God, heal us in the area of sexuality!
