As we read from the theology of the body, body is a visible sign of our invisible soul, and as such what we do with our body must image our inner self's character. In the book I read sometime in 2002 - "Love, Sex and the Catholic Church" (available at St. Paul's) the author talks about the "language of the body". Let me give you an example. When I kiss my 1-year old son on his forehead, it communicates something to him "I love you my son. You are so dear to me!" When I hug him tightly, I give him assurance that my loving hands will be always there to protect him. Though he does not understand what I speak, still he clearly shows the sign that he is able to understand my gestures. My soul or mind are not capable of expressing myself to him what my body and its actions could. These are honest expressions from me. There are several bodily gestures that we do in a similar way which mean or talk something. So, when we shake hands with some one, show thumbs up, say good morning, wink, we are saying something. Now it is possible to hug someone, but at the same time wish ill for him/her in our mind. This is where a conflict occurs between what we communicate and what is inside, or rather, a conflict between our body and mind, body and soul or between mind and soul. Here, we are not true to ourselves, and to the person to whom we communicate.
Conjugal union has a language. It is a communication. It is a dialogue. It images the union of Christ with the Church. It images the union of the trinity. Here the couple places themselves to the complete trust in God, which images Mary's surrender to God - "Here I am your maid servant. Be it unto me according to your will". It is an expression of total self-giving to the other as well as the total acceptance of the other. Giving just as one is, and accepting just as the other is. This union is a creative and life-generating one. This is life-generating even when one (or both) partner is barren or sterile due to any physical illness or nature, since the union that it images is life-generating. Just as the Holy Spirit is generated from the mutual love between the Father and the Son, conjugal union that images mutual surrender & acceptance always brings life into the lives of both the partners. The physical life (offspring) generation is no less meant to be a Sacrament of this "life received in abundance".
Now, I am entering into the next aspect our topic - "Birth Control". I will share my views on the morality of Birth Control as a whole later. But one category of Birth Control is called "Contraception". Why I made this distinction was because it means "against conception", and birth control need not necessarily be an action 'against conception'.
So conjugal love - if it is honest - should speak many things. "Here's the flesh of my flesh, and the bone of my bone." "I love you and accept you just as you are, completely", "I give myself entirely to you, and accept me just as I am, with all my good and bad, strength and weaknesses", "Here I am. There is nothing hidden from you. There is nothing that separates us." "I share my joy of being one with you." "I delight in you, and I find my fullness in you", "I trust in you", "God, I thank you for creating both of us the way we are." "Lord, I am open to your life that you promised in fullness", "Lord, I trust in you" and so on.
When contraception is done, many of these unsaid utterances become meaningless. It says "I would accept you completely, except your fertility" "I give myself to you, but not my fertility." "Nothing separates you and me, except this condom." "I cannot become completely one with you, but I still finds pleasure in you". "Let us enjoy the pleasure part, but keep aside our full union." "Lord, thanks for the pleasure, but no life please!" "Lord, why did you attach procreation with sex, causing us much worry, difficulty and expense", "Contraceptives, I trust in you. Don't fail us and drag us either to an abortion, or to bear an unwanted baby!". The life-generating sacrament of the one-flesh union is defiled by the presence of foreign objects or by destroying the life after it is conceived, forbidding the union whose sign it is.
It is said that Christian marriage is not between two person, but rather 3 - God being in the center. In contraception, four things are offended - Creative power of God, Fertility of self, Fertility of the partner, Welcoming attitude towards a new life into one's family. I addition to all this, the one-flesh union is only a parody of what it should have been, and the division it brings moves into the realm of mind and spirit from the body. In their whole life they will try to figure out why there is so much gap between the two, until they repent and turn to the LORD.
Friday, 1 October 2010
Monday, 27 September 2010
Knowing Right & Wrong is Not Enough
As I was having a conversation with Dr. Savina on the Marriage Preparation Course materials, I was reminded of some of the reflections which I had upon the responses to the "hot topic" of Pro-Life during the course. I thought those points make sense in our current discussions.
1. When we convey the teachings of the Church on the sexual morality, it typically confronts opposition or disinterest. It appears that definition of something as as right or wrong does not matter to them.
2. Apparently, only those with firm belief in God are the ones who at least agrees with us and makes a firm decision to practise it.
Why? Take an example of one sin you have given up after coming to know Jesus. Say, bribing a traffic cop. Did we know before that it was wrong? Yes. Then what made us change our mind? It is not certainly the knowledge that it is sin, coz we already knew. Then what made the difference? The experience we had of Jesus Christ made the difference. We experience the real joy of a life in communion with Jesus, we have discovered that He is true, is infinitely good, who rewards our good and bad, takes delight in the good and is offended by the bad, who died our death and so on. You also know that you have become a son/daughter of God, created in his image and likeness, heir to God and co-heir with Jesus Christ, temple of God, co-citizens of the holy ones and a member of the House of God. While the world repeats the mistake of the first parents by trying to test and decide for themselves good and evil, we now understand that the right and wrong is revealed by God alone, and no man can redefine or twist it. From the sum-total of all these do we make a decision to align ourselves to the Will of God and imitate the Son of God in obedience. The world gets deceived by the notion "everyone is doing it, so why can't we? even if a God exists, can he dare to judge against the majority?", but the Word of God reveals to us that though the majority goes through the wide gate, only those who pass by the narrow gate will be enter.
I understand that to make a decision not to bribe need not always come from a person's personal encounter with Jesus. We find several upright non-Christians who obeys the Word of God written in their conscience, and are convinced of the right and wrong. But when it comes to sexual morality, it is very hard. I know for sure because I have been challenged by several people, in my close family & friends' circles to compromise on the matter of contraception for all the right reasons. I can say without any doubt that it was the conviction given by Jesus Christ alone that did not allow me to give in.
At times, even faith in Jesus is not enough. That is evident in the fact that the Church (not the magisterium, but the faithful) is divided in this issue more than any other issue. I can't blame extremely good people not agreeing to the Church teaching. I was given suggestions/advice of doing sterilization/Copper-T etc. and then make a confession (from Charismatic Catholics). But if we manage to explain the original greatness of man by pointing to the beginning (As John Paul does in the Theology of the Body), the effect of sin, and how Jesus restores our dignity and our original greatness, I hope that we can convince at least the believers who has problems with the teaching. I see that superficial mis-information about Church Teachings as dictated "rights and wrongs" as a major obstacle to knowing the truth, the truth that sets us free.
Probably we must speak out - "I follow NFP not because it is the most effective means of Birth Control, but because that is the only means (other than total abstinence) that befits my state as a son of God created in his image & likeness, as a member of the Body of Christ. I opt NFP and a big family not out of fear of judgement, but out of real freedom that came through the redemption of our bodies in Christ Jesus."
"Man must reconcile himself to his natural greatness," declares Pope John Paul II in his book, Love & Responsibility, written while the future Pope was still known as Fr. Karol Wojtyla.
1. When we convey the teachings of the Church on the sexual morality, it typically confronts opposition or disinterest. It appears that definition of something as as right or wrong does not matter to them.
2. Apparently, only those with firm belief in God are the ones who at least agrees with us and makes a firm decision to practise it.
Why? Take an example of one sin you have given up after coming to know Jesus. Say, bribing a traffic cop. Did we know before that it was wrong? Yes. Then what made us change our mind? It is not certainly the knowledge that it is sin, coz we already knew. Then what made the difference? The experience we had of Jesus Christ made the difference. We experience the real joy of a life in communion with Jesus, we have discovered that He is true, is infinitely good, who rewards our good and bad, takes delight in the good and is offended by the bad, who died our death and so on. You also know that you have become a son/daughter of God, created in his image and likeness, heir to God and co-heir with Jesus Christ, temple of God, co-citizens of the holy ones and a member of the House of God. While the world repeats the mistake of the first parents by trying to test and decide for themselves good and evil, we now understand that the right and wrong is revealed by God alone, and no man can redefine or twist it. From the sum-total of all these do we make a decision to align ourselves to the Will of God and imitate the Son of God in obedience. The world gets deceived by the notion "everyone is doing it, so why can't we? even if a God exists, can he dare to judge against the majority?", but the Word of God reveals to us that though the majority goes through the wide gate, only those who pass by the narrow gate will be enter.
I understand that to make a decision not to bribe need not always come from a person's personal encounter with Jesus. We find several upright non-Christians who obeys the Word of God written in their conscience, and are convinced of the right and wrong. But when it comes to sexual morality, it is very hard. I know for sure because I have been challenged by several people, in my close family & friends' circles to compromise on the matter of contraception for all the right reasons. I can say without any doubt that it was the conviction given by Jesus Christ alone that did not allow me to give in.
At times, even faith in Jesus is not enough. That is evident in the fact that the Church (not the magisterium, but the faithful) is divided in this issue more than any other issue. I can't blame extremely good people not agreeing to the Church teaching. I was given suggestions/advice of doing sterilization/Copper-T etc. and then make a confession (from Charismatic Catholics). But if we manage to explain the original greatness of man by pointing to the beginning (As John Paul does in the Theology of the Body), the effect of sin, and how Jesus restores our dignity and our original greatness, I hope that we can convince at least the believers who has problems with the teaching. I see that superficial mis-information about Church Teachings as dictated "rights and wrongs" as a major obstacle to knowing the truth, the truth that sets us free.
Probably we must speak out - "I follow NFP not because it is the most effective means of Birth Control, but because that is the only means (other than total abstinence) that befits my state as a son of God created in his image & likeness, as a member of the Body of Christ. I opt NFP and a big family not out of fear of judgement, but out of real freedom that came through the redemption of our bodies in Christ Jesus."
"Man must reconcile himself to his natural greatness," declares Pope John Paul II in his book, Love & Responsibility, written while the future Pope was still known as Fr. Karol Wojtyla.
Friday, 10 September 2010
TOB Reflection – Sacramental Image of One Flesh Union
While describing the two accounts of creation in Genesis in the original languages, Pope John Paul II (JP2) points out an interesting observation. When God created human, he is referred to as 'Adam' (created from dust). But when Even was separated, man is referred to as 'ishah' or 'ish' (stands for male) in relation to ishshah ("woman", because she was taken from her man - ish).
Thus the human being whom God created in the beginning became 'male' only when woman (female) was separated from her man (male). Thus in a way we can say that "masculinity" and "femininity" came into existence in the same moment in the human history.
Human being before getting a sexual identity was made to understand by God that he will never be happy in solitude. He needed someone whom he can communicate his love. He did not find any other creature suitable to be his companion. After separating another person from him, he found in Eve someone whom he found as perfect companion with who he can share his image of God, who is similar to him in most respects but with differences that mutually make them complimentary. It was evident from his first words expressing his joy and fulfilment -"Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone". He found in her his own fulfilment, completion.
"No one has ever seen God. The only Son, God, who is at the Father's side, has revealed him." - John 1:18.
JP2 says - just as Christ revealed the invisible God to us, our body reveals our invisible soul. Sacraments are visible signs of invisible grace. Christ came as a sacrament of God. Likewise, body is the sacrament of soul. Nobody can see my soul (nor mind), but my body alone. But you can to some extend measure the state of my soul looking at how I conduct. When someone sees my body, [s]he knows that I as a whole being is present there.
Thus, what we do with our body is supposed to reflect what goes with our soul. If it's not, then we are not in harmony with our whole being. The Conjugal act of being "One Flesh" is thus supposed to be a total union of the husband and wife, a total self-giving and a total surrender. The pleasure attached with the One Flesh union must also reflect in the joy of accepting each other as a precious gift from God, that echoes "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh". Thus the one-flesh union is a sacrament of an invisible unity.
Thus the human being whom God created in the beginning became 'male' only when woman (female) was separated from her man (male). Thus in a way we can say that "masculinity" and "femininity" came into existence in the same moment in the human history.
Human being before getting a sexual identity was made to understand by God that he will never be happy in solitude. He needed someone whom he can communicate his love. He did not find any other creature suitable to be his companion. After separating another person from him, he found in Eve someone whom he found as perfect companion with who he can share his image of God, who is similar to him in most respects but with differences that mutually make them complimentary. It was evident from his first words expressing his joy and fulfilment -"Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone". He found in her his own fulfilment, completion.
"No one has ever seen God. The only Son, God, who is at the Father's side, has revealed him." - John 1:18.
JP2 says - just as Christ revealed the invisible God to us, our body reveals our invisible soul. Sacraments are visible signs of invisible grace. Christ came as a sacrament of God. Likewise, body is the sacrament of soul. Nobody can see my soul (nor mind), but my body alone. But you can to some extend measure the state of my soul looking at how I conduct. When someone sees my body, [s]he knows that I as a whole being is present there.
Thus, what we do with our body is supposed to reflect what goes with our soul. If it's not, then we are not in harmony with our whole being. The Conjugal act of being "One Flesh" is thus supposed to be a total union of the husband and wife, a total self-giving and a total surrender. The pleasure attached with the One Flesh union must also reflect in the joy of accepting each other as a precious gift from God, that echoes "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh". Thus the one-flesh union is a sacrament of an invisible unity.
Thursday, 9 September 2010
TOB Reflection - Conjugal Love
Conjugal love is the love ordained by God to be between a husband and his wife. It is a love that binds them to an exclusive relationship that they are supposed to give total fidelity till the death of one of the partners. This love mirrors the self-less and total self-giving love between God the Father and Jesus His Son. Just as Jesus (God's Word) was born before eternity from the Father, God gave shape to the Woman from the bone of Man's rib. Adam expressed his love through these words from the bottom of his heart (Gen 2:23-24) -
23 the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.
The Father loves the Son entirely and gives Himself entirely to the Son. The Son loves the Father and gives Himself entirely to the Father, and submits Himself to the Father. From their total self giving love the Third Person, the Holy Spirit proceeds. These Three Persons form a Total Communion of Love - the Holy Trinity, Three Persons, One God.
We see God preparing Himself to create man. (Gen 1:26-27)
26 Then God said: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground."
27 God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them, saying: "Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth."
We see that creating main in God's image has a lot to do with creating them as male and female (They are but in one verse). The image of the Holy Trinity can be clearly found in the God's dream of human family.
23 the man said: "This one, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; This one shall be called 'woman,' for out of 'her man' this one has been taken."
24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two of them become one body.
The Father loves the Son entirely and gives Himself entirely to the Son. The Son loves the Father and gives Himself entirely to the Father, and submits Himself to the Father. From their total self giving love the Third Person, the Holy Spirit proceeds. These Three Persons form a Total Communion of Love - the Holy Trinity, Three Persons, One God.
We see God preparing Himself to create man. (Gen 1:26-27)
26 Then God said: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. Let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and the cattle, and over all the wild animals and all the creatures that crawl on the ground."
27 God created man in his image; in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.
28 God blessed them, saying: "Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and all the living things that move on the earth."
We see that creating main in God's image has a lot to do with creating them as male and female (They are but in one verse). The image of the Holy Trinity can be clearly found in the God's dream of human family.
Friday, 3 September 2010
TOB Reflection - Conjugal Spirituality & Sexual Morality
One of the greatest resources we can ever avail of on marriage, celibacy and marital spirituality in the journey towards heaven is said to be John Paul II's great work "Theology of the Body" (http://www.ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tbind.htm) For those who wish to have an off-line copy of the same, do write to me.
It is impossible to understand the morality on the subjects like Abortion, Contraception, Divorce, Homosexuality, Adultery, Masturbation etc. if we do not understand what sexuality is in the eternal plan of God. I hope our discussion in this subject will help all of us to understand this aspect, on the basis of which the moral issues which we are discussing can be explained.
Very often when I engage in discussions with my friends on abortion, contraception etc., I find it extremely difficult to make my point if I do not touch upon of God and his design. It is true, that to accept and understand ourselves, one must be ready to open up his/her heart to accept our Creator and His ways. It is not surprising, as the Word of God suggests!
Matthew 19:3-14 says (http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/bible/matthew/matthew19.htm)
3 Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?"
4 He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female'
5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
7 They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?"
8 He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."
10 [His] disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
11 He answered, "Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted.
12 Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it."
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them,
14 but Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
So, we should not be surprised that not all can accept His word, but only those to whom that is granted. Let us try to learn from God like children, for the mysteries of the Kingdom are revealed to them. Let us pray that we may become like little children.
It is impossible to understand the morality on the subjects like Abortion, Contraception, Divorce, Homosexuality, Adultery, Masturbation etc. if we do not understand what sexuality is in the eternal plan of God. I hope our discussion in this subject will help all of us to understand this aspect, on the basis of which the moral issues which we are discussing can be explained.
Very often when I engage in discussions with my friends on abortion, contraception etc., I find it extremely difficult to make my point if I do not touch upon of God and his design. It is true, that to accept and understand ourselves, one must be ready to open up his/her heart to accept our Creator and His ways. It is not surprising, as the Word of God suggests!
Matthew 19:3-14 says (http://www.nccbuscc.org/nab/bible/matthew/matthew19.htm)
3 Some Pharisees approached him, and tested him, saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?"
4 He said in reply, "Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female'
5 and said, 'For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'?
6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no human being must separate."
7 They said to him, "Then why did Moses command that the man give the woman a bill of divorce and dismiss (her)?"
8 He said to them, "Because of the hardness of your hearts Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 I say to you, whoever divorces his wife (unless the marriage is unlawful) and marries another commits adultery."
10 [His] disciples said to him, "If that is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry."
11 He answered, "Not all can accept [this] word, but only those to whom that is granted.
12 Some are incapable of marriage because they were born so; some, because they were made so by others; some, because they have renounced marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Whoever can accept this ought to accept it."
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked them,
14 but Jesus said, "Let the children come to me, and do not prevent them; for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."
So, we should not be surprised that not all can accept His word, but only those to whom that is granted. Let us try to learn from God like children, for the mysteries of the Kingdom are revealed to them. Let us pray that we may become like little children.
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Syro Malabar Mass - Songs with Chords
Dear all,
Ever since I started playing guitar for the mass, I was longing for an "inline chord book" for the Syro English Mass. Finally I have made it. But it is something that may require correction. Those who have Mass songs CD with you and who have chords sense, kindly send me the corrections.
Those who are learning/practising guitar, keyboard etc., please use this book also while you learn, so that not only will you practice, but also we have a few among us who are familiar with the Mass songs and can use the opportunity to do your part in the music ministry.
Syro Malabar Mass in Malayalam - Chords
Syro Malabar Mass in English - Chords
Ever since I started playing guitar for the mass, I was longing for an "inline chord book" for the Syro English Mass. Finally I have made it. But it is something that may require correction. Those who have Mass songs CD with you and who have chords sense, kindly send me the corrections.
Those who are learning/practising guitar, keyboard etc., please use this book also while you learn, so that not only will you practice, but also we have a few among us who are familiar with the Mass songs and can use the opportunity to do your part in the music ministry.
Syro Malabar Mass in Malayalam - Chords
Syro Malabar Mass in English - Chords
Monday, 31 August 2009
Testimony of a Woman who Underwent Abortion
http://www.lovematters.com/women.htm
"Two weeks after the abortion, I went into labor. I staggered into the bathroom. And there, with my husband beside me, I delivered a part of my baby the doctor had missed. It was the head of my baby..." "I'll wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I hear a baby crying. And I still have nightmares in which I am forced to watch my baby being ripped apart in front of me. I simply miss my baby. I constantly wake up wanting to nurse my child, wanting to hold my child. And that's something the doctor never told me I would experience."
LORI NERAD - former national president of Women Exploited by Abortion
"Two weeks after the abortion, I went into labor. I staggered into the bathroom. And there, with my husband beside me, I delivered a part of my baby the doctor had missed. It was the head of my baby..." "I'll wake up in the middle of the night, thinking I hear a baby crying. And I still have nightmares in which I am forced to watch my baby being ripped apart in front of me. I simply miss my baby. I constantly wake up wanting to nurse my child, wanting to hold my child. And that's something the doctor never told me I would experience."
LORI NERAD - former national president of Women Exploited by Abortion
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